As you’re out at the malls and at your local shops on the busiest shopping days of the year, don’t forget some of the more notables on your list. What do you get a just un-retired NBA superstar who’s playing with a bunch of dolts? Or an NFL coach whose stars can’t stay healthy, and who, in his own words, can’t get the ones who are on the field to “play above the x’s and o’s?” Some people are easy to buy for; for some others, you have to be pretty creative.
For Michael Jordan, see if you can find a giant bag of patience, and check in a specialty shop for a huge dose of sense of humor. It’s pretty obvious with the supporting cast he has on the Wizards; he’ll need both as the NBA season goes along.
Getting gifts for Tom Coughlin is easy. Grab every medical supply available, and while you’re there, see if the pharmacist can write a prescription for a little luck, the good kind. His team has had plenty of the other already. And while you’re at it, see if the pharmacist has any extra sense of humor samples around you can slip in Coughlin’s stocking. I know Tom has one; it’s just not on display enough. A little extra can’t hurt.
It’s hard to tell what Wayne Weaver would want. His Jaguar investment has more than tripled in just seven years. His wish list includes an appearance in the Super Bowl. That one will have to wait a few years.
Shop around for a match up between JU and Edward Waters on the basketball court. I think you find that in the “when hell freezes over” section.
Grab a little Florida State for the Gator Bowl and you’ll be done with them. See if some sort of weird ending to the BCS Rankings is still available. The line will be long, but if you’re a Gator fan, it’ll be worth the wait.
Drop in the hardware store on your way home and see if they have any “shut up you won the game” for Steve Spurrier. And while you’re there, check for some “better sportsmanship lessons” for current, future, and recent FSU players. Bobby Bowden used to hand that out for free, but I think he’s all out, or he forgot where he left it.
Grab a bunch of those “No Whining” hats. About 90% of the players in the NBA need one of those.
And that extra bag of toughness you bought for your friends in the NHL? Sprinkle that around to some of the other sports, the hockey players have enough.
If you have any money left, and you can find some somewhere, get a little style and pr savvy for Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig. Maybe you can take some from Paul Tagliabue. He has more than enough. In fact, a little too much. And see if they have any “dominant team” in the fragrance section. The Commissioner and the NFL could use a little spritz of that around the ears.
Tiger seems to have everything. A little “cordiality while dealing with fans” would be a nice gift. It’s small, and it’s something he needs and doesn’t know it!
Sometimes you have to buy people something they need, but don’t necessarily want. For many NFL Players, that item is personal accountability. It’s not hard to find, and it won’t be expensive, but getting them to take it will be a whole other story.
That should be about it.
If you have a minute, pick up something for Billy Donovan. Anything will do.
Whatever it is, he’ll get the best out of it and make it a winner.